Friday, September 28, 2012

Journal: Step 9, Revelations and Answered Prayers

Hello!  Goodness - it's been a while since I've posted.  My reason for the delay is two fold.  First, I seemed to just be really busy this week.  I have been working on a couple of posts but those posts are dependent on others and so I'm waiting to hear back from them.  The other reason is because my story is going to be promoted by Voices For Virtue soon and part of me didn't want the current post to be a 'journal' post when that story goes live.  So I was delaying posting again in hopes the previous post to this one would be on the front page of my blog.  But in the end I decided it was silly to delay posting and the work must go on.  So here I am!

So here are some happenings that have occurred over the past couple of weeks:

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My 13 year old son had a great opportunity to work a Step 9 this past week.  He and his 9 year old brother had spent a month up in Montana with my parents over the summer.  While there, something pretty bad happened that neither of them would fess up to and eventually my 9 year old took the blame just to stop the discussion.  Fast forward two months to now.  My 13 year old, through tears, finally came clean and admitted he was the culprit in the incident.  He then had the opportunity to call my mom and sister and tell the truth.  He was terrified to call them and I felt for him because I know how terrifying it can be to come clean about wrongs but I also know how rewarding telling the truth and being released from the bondage of lies can be.  I sat next to him as he sobbed on the phone to my sister and the next day sat shaking as he called my mom.  I am so proud of this boy.  He did the absolute right thing!  And I'm proud of my family for being loving and accepting of his apology.  And I'm proud of my 9 year old for accepting my 13 year old's apology.  And my faith in the Lord and His love and forgiveness has been reaffirmed and strengthened.  The entire experience was glorious!  I am so grateful for opportunities such as this to teach my children the principles of His restored Gospel by way of the 12 Step program.

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On that note.  I need some advice from you guys.  I've obviously gone way public with my story.  Which I know is my path - I know its what the Lord wants me to do and I have zero fears and no regrets.  Heavenly Father truly has protected my family and I and sharing my story has been completely positive.  My question is in regards to my 13 year old.  Tim and I have decided that we are going to tell him about my addiction and my work in helping bring hope to others.  We have also counseled with our Bishop and he feels we should tell him as well.  We feel it's very important that he learn it from us, in a safe environment where he can ask questions and get the truth of it all, rather from someone else.  Frankly, I'd be mortified if he heard it from someone else.  He already knows I'm involved in addiction recovery so it wouldn't be completely out of left field.  Anyway - I guess my question is what do you think we should tell him?  Do you think it would be OK to give him the basics and then let him read my story?  Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

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I had an awesome experience with an answered prayer the other day.  I was at a meeting and someone whom I'd had previous negative feelings for (and sometimes still do) was speaking when all of a sudden my mind rushed with more negative thoughts about him/her.  I immediately dismissed it and sent a fervent prayer Heavenward "Heavenly Father - I am so done with these feelings!  I don't want them anymore!  Please help take them from me!"  The meeting continued without incident and by the end I'd completely forgotten the negative feelings as well as the prayer.  As I was leaving the meeting I ran in to this person and immediately gave them a hug.  The sweetness of the Spirit blessed both of us in that moment and I truly felt no negative feelings.  I didn't even feel defensive and closed off as I had in the past.  I know Heavenly Father answered my plea for help.  I admitted I couldn't remove the negative feelings I was having on my own and asked for His help in doing so, and he granted my request.  Love it!

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Fun things are happening this weekend!  I attend group with some of the most amazing sisters that I have ever met.  They have become my best friends.  I love and cherish them dearly.  Well, tomorrow we are heading up to Salt Lake City to attend the General Relief Society meeting at the conference center.  If you haven't attended this meeting - I highly recommend it.  There is something exquisitely special about sitting in the presence of the Prophet with 20,000+ of your fellow sisters.  It's also such a privilege to sing sacred hymns to the Lord as a giant choir.  This opportunity gives me a small taste of what the choirs of Heaven must sound like.  There is nothing on this earth like it. 


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Just a reminder of my continual request for more topic ideas!  If you have the question in your head chances are good someone else does too!:-)


 


2 comments:

  1. I want to use the 12 steps to help teach my children as well. Happy you had a good teaching moment with your boys.

    As for telling your 13 year old that is a tough one. My husband doesn't want to tell our teenage son at all and I am thinking he may have to some day. I think if I had to do it, I would use the "Understanding Pornography and Sexual Addiction" guide book by S.A. Lifeline Foundation. It's an amazing resource for talking to your children about pornography and sex. It has sample lessons and is very comprehensive as far as helping someone understand pornography/sexual addiction.

    You are so brave...I am grateful to have connected with you. You inspire me!

    I am continually praying for you!!

    Hope you enjoy the R.S. meeting tomorrow:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I'd be more apt to not tell my son if I wasn't so public. But with all that's happening I know he's going to find out eventually. I want to be able to control how he finds out so we are going to have to do it. Thanks for those resources! Great ideas!

      You inspire me too! I actually directed a sister at group last night to your blog.

      Hopefully I'll be able to hug you one day - even if it's in the next life:-)

      Much love!

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Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"