Monday, February 18, 2013

Dear Bishop: You Helped Bring Me Home


Dear Bishop,
I'm writing as an LDS woman who struggles with sexual addiction.  I wanted to let you know how important you were in my journey to sobriety, freedom and forgiveness.
I had been certain that because of my sins (I didn't recognize it as an addiction at the time) that Heavenly Father could never love me or want me again.  Then, one night I let my walls down just enough to hear a whisper calling me back.  Because of that whisper I decided to finally come to you.  I was terrified.  I knew that what I had done would result in a disciplinary council.  But I came because I knew that it was either go see you or give up on any chance of ever returning to my Father. 
You were so patient and so kind.  It took me 3 meetings to fully tell you why I wanted to meet with you.  Part of it I couldn't even bear to speak, so I wrote you a letter and you never complained.  I never saw any judgement or hate or revulsion in your eyes, only love and I couldn't understand why. 
You were honest with me.  You told it to me straight that yes, there would be a council and that yes, this was an addiction. 
You met with me every week leading up to my council.  You gave me more blessings than I can remember as you helped to bring me home.  You took time away from your young family to give to me.  I will always be grateful.
At the council as I focused on you and Christ's love shining through your eyes, I felt like I was Peter, walking on the water, doing something that I couldn't do.  You were Christ.  I knew that if I just looked into your love filled eyes, and didn't look anywhere else, I could get through it.
After the council you continued to meet with me regularly.  I'll never forget the night that I came to see you because I was struggling and you invited me to clean the building!  I was so happy that I would be allowed to serve in some small way again.  When the council reconvened you were still there.  When I reached the point of 2 weeks sobriety and I got to take the Sacrament, oh what joy!  And then, several weeks later, when you surprised me by asking me if I wanted to do a temple recommend interview!  Going back to the temple for the first time in years and having you there while I did baptisms was indescribable.  You even helped me to get to the temple to take out my endowments.
Bishop, you were there every step of the way.  You cheered me on when I struggled daily and nobody else even knew about it.  You encouraged me to attend the ARP.  You believed in me, and more importantly, you believed in the Saviour and that He could rescue even someone as lost as I was.
I know, without a shadow of a doubt that I moved to a new country so that you could be my bishop.  I know that without your help I would still be stuck in the filth of pornography and adultery.  I know that My Saviour lives and I know that the atonement can heal all hurts and right all wrongs.  Bishop, thank you for helping to teach me that.
With all the gratitude of my soul,

A Beautiful Daughter of God


A contributed post in response to A Call For Input: Dear Bishop Letters.

5 comments:

  1. What an inspirational post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so eloquently.

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  2. Thank you so much for this letter! It's so true! ~Stacey

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  3. What a wonderful letter and how grateful your Bishop must be to have you in his fold. This post elevates my spirits. Thank you.

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  4. This letter is amazing. So many similiar thoughts are running in my mind. Thank you to whoever this beautiful daughter of God is! :)

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  5. Love, love! I couldn't help but feel so much gratitude for my bishop as I read this, and also excitement for your journey. Thanks for sharing

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Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"