Monday, April 22, 2013

Dear God: Are You There?

Are you there?
I want to come home
This darkness is all around me
... I can't see
... where I am
The spark within me is dim
I cannot see my path
My thoughts of suicide are back
I won't
But I find it oddly comforting
... these thoughts of coming home
... and resting with you.
That's the catch though...
If I facilitated my own homecoming
... there would be no rest.
So, I won't.  I will remain here
... and strive to find healthier comforts.
My rage is back
Like an ugly black cloud of ash and decay
I hate myself when I get so angry
... it erupts like a volcano and I can't control it
and
It won't shut off
I need help.
Those around me... I hurt them.
I need help.
Are you there?
Please help me.
Please.


12 comments:

  1. I'm soorrry. I hope that you will soon feel a little bit of our Father's love.

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  2. oh, and I feel like I have had this converstion going on in my head over and over. You there God? Chin up!

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  3. Replies
    1. I'm sorry you're going through this right now. :( I put your name in the temple. Lots of prayers for you!

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    2. Aww thank you my friend! Love you back!

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  4. He's there. He hears. He will answer.

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  5. It's as if you are in my head with these words. Keep your head above water. He hears you and is holding you and guiding you through the rough waters. He is your lifeline....don't let go.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Emma. I appreciate your thoughts and encouragement. You're right... He IS my lifeline!

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Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"