Sunday, December 1, 2013

Journal: Becoming a Seeker - Part 2 and 'The Gathering'

(Read 'Becoming a Seeker - Part 1' here)

Well, I did it.  I attended my very first SA meeting.

And?

I loved it!

Even mushed into a cool room with probably 30-40 other guys (and one other woman), I felt like I was at home; like I was family.  It felt so good to say my name, announce that I was new and have the entire room erupt in exuberant clapping simply because they were happy I was there.

I even received a 'hope chip' given out to newcomers...


My husband and I, along with one other newcomer, were invited into a separate room to have a 'newcomers' meeting.  There, we learned about the focus of the meeting, what the meetings offer, step 1 inventories and sponsorship.  I was mostly already familiar with most of the information presented but there was some new stuff as well.

I admit, I wanted to be in the big meeting; learning from all the oldtimers.  That is why I am there.  To learn.

I have decided to become a regular attendee of SA.  I feel they have a lot to offer me and will seriously help me refine my recovery.

I think i mentioned this in part 1 of this Seeking series, but I've really come to recognize that my pornography and masturbation use truly is only a symptom of a much deeper problem, rather than the root.  As good as it has been to focus on stopping that behavior, I really have only been focusing on treating symptoms that will continually return if I don't acknowledge and treat the infection; the disease.

Now, being almost the only woman, there really isn't much to choose from for sponsorship.  Fortunately www.sa.org offers some resources there so I'll be reaching out to them for more information.  I'll also look into attending some women only phone meetings.

I'm excited to start this leg of my journey.  I feel the Lord has really put His stamp of approval on it and I'm gratefully looking forward to what He has in store for me next.

~~~~~~~~~~

Also - there wasn't really enough interest to have a formal gathering similar to Camp Scabs so I'm going to hold off on that idea for now.  I understand that women in sex addiction are still bound by a ton of fear and shame so it doesn't surprise me that not much interest has been shown.  But, I also know that the time will come when it will be right - and I will revisit the idea when that moment arrives.

5 comments:

  1. this post (and series) is very inspiring. Getting me interested in SA. I'm glad it was a good experience.

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  2. Good to see you guys! ah I should have stayed a bit longer. But I had a long drive home and didn't really want to stay. Not tons of long-term sobriety in the meeting. But there were some good shares. I was hoping we would have read out of the white book...not sure why they skipped that. And I picked me up a silver 24 hour chip at the Saturday morning meeting....most important chip to have.

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    1. It was great to see you too. I'm sorry the meeting wasn't what you expected. In my experience we can always find differences, or reasons to alienate. I am sure that even though the meeting as a whole didn't have huge sobriety, you still could have learned. I was eager to be int he big meeting, simply because I wanted to learn. Sometimes, I learn the most from those just coming back from slipping because they exude Godly sorrow, humility and the desire and courage to keep going. Just because something is different than what we are used to, that it is out of our comfort zone, doesn't mean we can't benefit from it. I am looking forward to the next meeting, and I'm attending another one on Thursday night too that I'm excited for! It was great seeing you. Hope it happens again sometime.

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  3. Hey, I have a chip like that! :)
    I'm so glad the meeting helped you. I was looking into it, but there all on the other side of the state.
    Can't wait to see where this takes you! Thanks for your example, Sid!

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Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"