Monday, December 16, 2013

Journal: Depression

I am depressed.

I was hit with it a couple of weeks ago when I finished up my fall semester classes and it has been a steady decline ever since.

I have very little desire to do anything.  I just want to lay in bed... all.day.long.

I am fighting to even acknowledge how I am feeling because I have generally been depression free for a good three years now.

But, although I feel the majority of my past depression has been due to my addiction, I do need to recognize that I also suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder), which causes depression in the winter months.

Basically, I need sunlight, which I've had very little of because it has been hovering at 0-10 degrees for the last 3 weeks or so.

Even now, as I write this, I am thinking "if I could only get a nap - I would feel better."

... typical addict denial.

Anyway - I am not sure where I am going with this; not sure what to do.  But one thing I do know for sure is I do not want to isolate in it - so I am putting it here.  Now the whole world knows....

6 comments:

  1. I totally know how you feel! ug, especially with all the inversion too. So depressing. I'm a summer kinda guy. Maybe you can get out and go snow shoeing or something. If you can't change winter maybe you can embrace it or even grow to love it!

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    1. I actually do love winter. Normally I don't get sick of it until mid January, though. I usually love it through the holidays. Having a white Christmas is one of my favorite things. But ya - I'm sure the inversion isn't helping either.

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  2. As someone who battles depression in her daily life, I feel your pain. Glad you're being open about it.

    I don't have much to say, but I'll give you an online hug. *hug*

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  3. Isn't a nap a type of self care? The end of a semester is big...I'm not understanding how that is addict denial? Congrats on your semester! I wrestle with depression as well. Vitamin D is a big boost for me in the winter.

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  4. The first thing I want to tell you is that stop thinking that you are in depression. Depression is nothing it is a collection of negative thoughts which comes in our mind. Depression not only makes you mental unfit also physical health is affected by it. I recommend you some easy treatments which helps to reduce your depression. Start reading books which you love most and meditate daily for a few minutes.
    http://www.searchhomeremedy.com/home-remedies-for-depression/
    Here some easy home remedies for you in the above link. It will help you to treat your depression. Hope you like it. Thanks

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    Replies
    1. I appreciate the resources, but I don't agree that depression is just a collection of negative thoughts. I feel some depression is definitely circumstantial, but not all. Depression is a clinical disease that is caused by chemical imbalances. My winter depression is caused by such an imbalance that occurs from lack of sunlight.

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Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"