Wednesday, June 4, 2014

But, I Love It God

'The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away'....a phrase I grew up with. My mom would repeat it all the time, although I can't really remember what she was referring to, if anything specific.

I shared in my last post that my husband received a significant promotion, which included a relocation to Price, Utah.

Well, Price has since been taken off the table. It seems the person my husband would have replaced changed his mind and no longer wants to transfer out.

I admit, the news devastated me. Price would be so good for our family right now. It has so much of what we need and want:
  • The cost of living there is incredibly low... we could rent a 4 bedroom/2 bath house for less than we pay for our current 2 bedroom townhouse.
  • It has a really cozy small town feel, which reminds me of the small town in Montana that I grew up in.
  • The High school there has been rated top ten in the nation.
  • It's far enough away from Utah Valley to be an adventure, but close enough to still be a comfort zone.

Basically, my heart was set on it. 
And, I don't do well with disappointment. 

At the time, when I found out, I went straight to anger...

I was mad at the guy for changing his mind.
I was mad at the HR lady who delivered the news for not providing more information.
I was mad at hubs for not demanding more information.
I was mad at God for allowing my hopes to soar, while knowing I'd crash.

I was mad.... mad mad mad. And disappointed and sad and confused.

So I posted it on Facebook, as it is sometimes my venting channel, not to mention I'd already told the whole world we were moving to Price. I expressed my frustration, and without even asking, the Lord answered my unspoken prayer in the form of a meme from a friend:


Tears immediately streamed down my face as I whispered to Him:

"But, I love it God"

Thankfully, He is gentle with me. Just as the picture depicts... 

He sits with me, not above me. 
He feels with me, not from a distance.
He hurts with me, not because of me.
His desire is to reward me, not punish me.

He has something bigger for me.

I feel the Lord is allowing me the opportunity to grow and trust Him more.

And I do. I trust Him more than I fear the unknown. 
And I love Him more than I love Price.

5 comments:

  1. I'm trying to embrace the meaning in this picture and really trust God. Sometimes its just SO HARD in our "human" state to see beyond what IS.
    :(

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  2. This tugs at my heartstrings with some of the things I'm going through right now with my own career. I get really mad sometimes, but it's important to remember that He always has something better in mind, and I just need to trust that.

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  3. I'm afraid this is going to be my life right now too. Faith can be so hard sometimes, but it's true that God always has a better plan in place... I hope you figure out your future soon *hugs*

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  4. "He hurts with me, not because of me."
    Wow. I've always pictured Christ suffering for me as Him suffering because of all the stupid things I do. You have changed my view of that completely. Christ suffers with me. He doesn't suffer just because I'm dumb and make mistakes. He wants to be there with me. He wants to love me and understand me and be able to give everything He has for me.
    Although it is SO HARD to trust Him, it is all I have left right now.
    Thank you for this.

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    Replies
    1. Hey Wendy. Thanks for the comment! I remember writing that specific line... it didn't come from me, but rather, it was spoken to me. And, like you, I learned from it the moment I wrote it. It was as if the Lord was telling me personally that I am not a burden to Him, but that it fills Him with joy when I rely and rest on Him. Isn't it beautiful? Thanks for your kind words!

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Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"