Do As I Do, Not As I Say

So, I learned something today.

Let me first back up a bit, before I share what I learned.

I was visiting with a friend of mine a week or so ago, and she shared with me a struggle she was having with someone living with her. The person was not being responsible, not contributing to the household and basically being a nuisance. My friend was frustrated because they allowed this person to stay with them for few weeks only, just to help them get on their feet. Also, the person was not on my friends lease, which disallows extended visitors.

The situation was really stressing my friend out, and she wasn't sure what to do.

As a complete joke, I blurted out; "You should totally write a fake letter from your landlord stating that she is aware of the unauthorized tenant, and that you have only a few days to get them out or everyone will be evicted."

Today, I found out she did just that.

My heart dropped when I heard she'd done it, because I knew that I had given her the idea.

It taught me that even the slightest whispering of actions without integrity can lead to dishonest behavior.

It taught me that both the Spirit and the adversary are gardeners of sorts, each patiently waiting for me to plant seeds with my words so they can, in-turn, nurture them to grow.

On the plus side, the note worked and the squatter moved out.
I might be just a little bit happy about that,.


  1. I was wishing my house guest situation could be solved as easy as this! I know you didn't intend for this situation to have the outcome it did but as you told your story I couldn't help thinking about my oldest daughter and her 1 year old son back and forth several times over the last 2 years, but she now lives here full time. She is the worst "house guest" ever. She doesn't contribute helping around the house. Doesn't clean up after herself or her son. Only focuses on the fact I told her she had to find daycare when she finally got a job. My mom or mother in law never watched my children for free when I worked. I raised 5 kids, practically on my own because my husband was too deep into his addiction to be much help and I always worked, at least part time. I don't have the energy to tend a 1 year old. My health is not what it used to be. Shes filling up my fridge with all the free food the state is giving her (because she has no problem asking for anything because her husband refuses to pay her any child support or help pay for anything and we are barely making ends meet, so that actually is helpful for us) She does fix her own meals but its my house so I'm supposed to do all the cleaning....including throwing the dirty diapers from the garage floor where she throws them, to the outside garbage can unless I want to smell dirty diapers every time I have to go into the garage. I sweep, mop, vaccuum, dust and clean up the kitchen often, because no one else will. I have to make sure there's soft soap, toilet paper and paper towels near by, and empty every overflowing garbage can no one can even do that around here. I know my comment is not what it should be, but your post is triggering for me in such a profound don't feel bad because I LOVE your perspective and this post but....I'm middle aged. Most of my children are married and have started families of their own. My youngest is still in high school and is planning to go on a mission after this school year. He was brave and admitted to me and his father he was addicted to pornography about a year ago.( His father has had a sexual addiction since he was 12.) My daughter is the most ungrateful, lazy, hardest "house guest" ever! Reading your post I was wishing I were in an apartment and this situation could happen for me. I love my daughter and my grandson but the stress this has been and the hardship of having her here is too much. I already struggle with my husbands addiction and the knowledge of my son now having an addiction and wanting to find help for him (because my husband refuses recovery so of course our son doesn't need it in his eyes and our bishop is nieve) Then adding a 28 year old daughter that expects me to be the maid is too much! I mostly keep this to myself (except my husband hears about the things he doesn't have to witness, but he is an enabler and is fine to allow me to be her doormat) The past 2 years have been a nightmare and I wish I could send her somewhere else. Thanks for letting me vent. I try so hard and give so much and all my family focuses on is what I don't do. My husband will NEVER ask her to leave even though I am so stressed having her here I can barely function. I envy your friend only having to have her squatter for 2 weeks. (And by no means am discounting her experience. It's hard to have someone come into your home and be so disrespectful, no matter who they are and how long they stay.) I'm so broken and worn out and have no support system. I'm sorry to vent but I had to for a minute. I needed a voice after reading this post, knowing it's not ok to be mistreated the way I am.

    1. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. I'm glad you had a place to 'vent' about it. I'm sorry that you are not feeling emotionally safe. That has got to be REALLY hard!! I wish I could give you a big fat hug:-)

    2. Me, too! Meaning, I wish I could give you a big fat hug, too

  2. Sorry I need to clarify.....We do not eat any of the free food the state gives my daughter, so that's why her filling up my fridge is a nuisance. I can only buy a few groceries at a time for the other 3 adults in the house.

  3. Thank you for the support, that means alot.


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