Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Journal: When It Rains, It Pours

This last week has been absolutely crazy.

Last Tuesday both my 9 year old and myself woke up with pretty bad sore throats.  With no relief by Friday I took us both to the doctor.  We had strep and were put on Amoxicillin.

The following day, Saturday, my 2 year old and my 13 year old started complaining of a sore throat so I took them to the instacare.  They were both diagnosed with strep and were placed on Amoxicillin.

By Saturday evening my husband had a sore throat also - so at that point, we all had strep.

Early Monday morning my 9 year old woke up with a fever and a terrible headache.  I gave him ibuprofen and within 30  minutes he was back to his normal perky self.... off to school.

He returned home that afternoon and within an hour the fever was back as well as the headache.  Over the next couple of hours his fever spiked to 103.  I posted what what happening on our ward Facebook message board and a sweet sister from my ward, who is a nurse and I didn't even know it, showed up on my doorstep with a Powerade for him and to check on him.  How awesome is that?   Finally, after a blessing(thank you hubby and our awesome neighbor), peppermint essential oils (thank you to our home-teacher), Tylenol AND ibuprofen  his fever finally broke.

The next morning (yesterday), after a good 10 hours of sleep, he woke up to his perky self... off to school.

By 2 O'clock I received a call from the school nurse saying he was throwing up and we needed to come get him.  I did.  He threw up in front of his entire class.  Poor guy.... home safe and snugly.

By 3:30 my 13 year old was late - really late - coming home from school (school lets out at 2:15 and he usually walks in the door at 2:45).  I called the mom of his friend that takes the bus with him and found out he didn't ride the bus home.  We called the school - the school couldn't find him.  I started driving all over the neighborhood looking for him - nothing.  By 4:15 Tim had called the police and I drove home.  Cops show up and  I found myself giving them a detailed description of my child and showing them pictures of what he looks like and what he was wearing.  I seriously hope to never have to do that again.

10 minutes later my son walks in the door, with the cops standing right there.  A wonderful ward member, after hearing my plea, jumped in his car and went looking for him.  My son was simply dilly dallying in a ditch when walking home from school and lost track of time.  He also said he forgot to call us.

 ::: facepalm ::::

The cops scared him - hopefully he'll never do that again... but I'm glad he's safe.

On top of all that my 2 year old has a rash all over his body from his strep medication.

AND... on top of ALL that - last week was the first week of the semester too!

Today I am tired, stressed and triggering like crazy.  Like really bad triggering.  Images and thoughts long forgotten have been awakened in my mind.  I just want to melt into my addiction and escape.

But I won't...

Another thing that I'm going to let you guys in on - a little bit - is I'm trying to not rely on my Bishop so much.  Early in recovery I leaned on him really hard.  I would text him all the time and through emails I would spill my pain and fear on him.  He never turned away or made me feel like the total freak I thought I was.  No, instead he took it all as a perfect representative of my Savior would, all in stride, and just accepted me for who I was.  He's awesome. But because of my attachment disorder, and some abandonment issues I have, I became over-reliant on him and somewhat attached.  I used to wish he was my dad.  I knew I was getting too attached but didn't know how to let go.  He'd become an integral part of my recovery, even my sobriety.

But the time has come for me to not rely on Him so much and instead rely on my Savior.  I find this difficult at times, especially today.  With all this stress... I'm missing him extra today.

My Bishop knows all of this already.  I'm pretty good about being honest about every aspect of my emotional and addiction symptoms.  I can't get better unless I'm first honest about all that is going on within me.

So ya - it's been a very trying week...

BUT...

I am really grateful even through all this stuff.  My ward has been absolutely amazing to our family this past week.  I can't even express how grateful I am for them.  When I was at the instacare on Saturday I posted on the ward message board asking if anyone would be willing to bring us dinner in that night since we all had strep.  Within mere minutes people flocked to the opportunity to serve.  10 minutes later there were two meals lined up for my family, for that night and the next.

Yesterday, I had the brother from my ward go out and search for my son without being asked and another sister contacted me and offered to bring us dinner again tonight.

I also had a sister offer to have a girls night out with me.

Can it get any better?  I don't know why all these trials have been dumped on us...  but I looked at Tim last night and asked "do you think we (we, as in anyone) are given trials sometimes for the soul purpose of giving others the opportunity to serve us and us the opportunity to receive service?".... because my ward and my friends have completely rallied around us.

I'm exhausted right now, and triggering like crazy... but, my heart is full of gratitude and I'll get through it.

After I post this I'm going to get up, eat, and get moving on my house.  I need to get moving to shake the funk.  After the house is clean I'll put my 2 year old down for a nap and try and get a nap myself.

Maybe I'll go to group tonight too...

10 comments:

  1. Holy Moly woman!! I am so sorry you are all so crazy. We have gone through that ourselves the last little while. We all had strep just before Christmas then had an unexpected hospital trip with the baby and have to pay for that. Then the car battery died, we had no money left at all, a sweet neighbor helped us out without us even asking, we had to get a food order from our bishop because I could either buy food or register my van, which I have to have registered to drive around etc, but through it all we have recieved such service. Definatly we have to have trials to be served. There's a great conference talk about that called Observe then Serve, it is a wonderful example of how to give and recieve service. I heard something on K-Love the other day that I think of every single hard day. The guy was describing his song and said, "Sometimes God saves us FROM our trials, sometimes He saves us THROUGH our trials!"
    Love you. And yes you should definatly come to group tonight, no maybes! :) We can go get a coke after. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you lady! I'm sorry I didn't make it. I really wanted to come but I still have sick kids and a sick husband I just felt I needed to be home. I will be going tomorrow though. And I definitely want to go out for food after group sometime with you!

      Sorry to hear about your trials too but it sounds like you have been well taken care of too. We sure are blessed:-)

      Delete
  2. No maybes about group you know better than that!!!! Always remember that in order for people to serve some one has to receive which helps us to keep humble and we let go of our pride as others serve us. Bishop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Bishop - I think this is the first time you've commented on my blog(?)... you all should know that he does read my blog... and my Stake President does too:-) I love it!

      And you're right, I do know better. But I needed to be home tonight - I'll go tomorrow!

      Delete
  3. Definitely go to group! Stay strong:) Tell the triggers to go fly and go have some support time. Praying for you and yes I believe sometimes he lets it rain, so others can serve us and we can learn to let them.

    Hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ya stupid triggers! I did get up and get moving... didn't get quite as much done as I wanted to, but I did get a bit of a nap. The house is how half done... but I'm feeling OK.:-) Thanks for the comments!

      Delete
  4. Good for you! I have started noticing that if we open our eyes we can see something to be thankful for "in all things" I can't remember the scripture off hand, but I remember it felt stressful, being told to be thankful in all things. Because I always thought it meant to be thankful for everything. But lately in my life I am seeing how being thankful in all things can be more like finding God in all things. And you did. In every challenge you saw Gods hand - his constant presence in your life, in the small things, and the huge things, I love it. Love you, I pray group was good for you tonight!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love this and you're right. It's hard sometimes to see it, but finding our gratitude in trials is always the path through them.:-) Thanks!

      Delete
  5. Sleep does wonders for me when I'm like that. Here's hoping you all get well very soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree! And boy, do I LOVE my sleep. But the problem with that is... we recently switched our toddler from the crib to a real bed. No more jail. UGHHH... which means, I get just let him play himself to sleep while confined to the crib and fall asleep myself. No, I have to wait till he's out cold... otherwise he's up and messing around in EVERYTHING... lol Oh life!

      Delete

Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"