A Call For Input: Dear Bishop Letters

I have been posting interviews of sisters who struggle with sexual addiction for a while now.  One of the questions in the interview is asking what advice she would give a Bishop in preparation for a future sister who struggles with sexual addiction potentially coming in to visit with him.

A friend of mine, Christine,  responded to one of these interviews and said she would pass on that section to her husband, who is currently serving as a Bishop.

I would like to take it a step further and actually start a special section on my blog titled "For the Bishop's".. I think I might change it to "For Our Sweet Bishop's".. I dunno... I haven't yet decided on the title yet.  I actually already have it up with one item under the section.  

But I want to add more and one of the things I want to add are "Dear Bishop" letters.  These letters will contain advice and suggestions from sisters who struggle with sexual addiction about what has and hasn't helped them along their journey in regards to specifically working with their Bishop's.

So my call for input is from those of you who struggle with sexual addiction and are willing to write a letter to a Bishop ...  some things you might express to him are:

  1. Express your fears surrounding going in to see him.
  2. Express what has worked with you and your current/past Bishop - "do's."  Things you liked.
  3. Express what didn't work for you and your current/past Bishop - "don'ts". Things you didn't like.
  4. Express things you wish you'd/he'd done differently if you could go back.
  5. Express any gratitude you feel for current or past Bishops and why.
  6. If you have any listed do's and don'ts please add those as well.
(This is just a rough list - you can of course, add more.  It's all dependent on your personal experiences)

Some examples are:
  1. Please don't tell me women aren't able to be addicted to pornography, that it's just a bad habit.
  2. Please don't hold me up on a pedestal as if I can do no wrong.  That just creates more fear in me to actually come in and talk to you.
  3. Please continue to encourage me and love me, even in spite of my flaws.
  4. Please let me email you/text regularly for check-in's.
  5. Please don't be afraid to say hard things... 
Etc... you get the idea...

If you have any suggestions on this, please let me know!!  You can either respond with your letter in the comments or email it to me directly at bythelightofgrace (at) gmail (dot) com.

Oh, and this of course will be kept anonymous.  I'm going to sign each letter with "Your Sister in Christ" or something like that, just to keep everything uniform and anonymous.

Thanks guys!


  1. I was always afraid they would be afraid of me. Now I see how silly that may sound, but it was a real fear!

    1. It's a real and legitimate fear. Don't discount it. I used to fear that what I had to tell my Bidhop would trigger him and I'd be responsible for his thoughts. Silly right? Yes. But real and legitimate nonetheless. :-)

    2. ^I feared that as well! I still DO in a small way. I was going to mention that in my letter. :)


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