'Lost' Accountability
I was attending an NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting this past Friday with clients from the treatment center I work at.
There was a man in attendance, a regular; or known more commonly as an 'oldtimer.' I want to share something I learned from him; something that really spoke to me.
We often speak of all the good things we lose because of our addictions:
Spouses
Families
Jobs
Self respect
Sobriety
Church privileges/membership
The list is endless...
But what does it really mean to 'lose' something?
Do you see how precious accountability seeps from us when we use the words 'lose' or 'lost?'
The word 'lose' disperses a good portion of said accountability to circumstance, chance, bad luck, accident, or the actions of another person.
But that is not what happens in addiction.
In addiction we choose our fix over the things we "lose." It is our choice. It doesn't happen because of happenstance or accident or because someone else made us or because of karma.
No, it happens because we make a very deliberate choice - whether at the trigger moment or days before - to love our addiction more than anything else.
...Instead of
"I have lost so much because of my addiction."
... Let us say
"I chose my addiction over all that I held dear."
And in that honesty we will find hope, strength and accelerated healing.
There was a man in attendance, a regular; or known more commonly as an 'oldtimer.' I want to share something I learned from him; something that really spoke to me.
We often speak of all the good things we lose because of our addictions:
Spouses
Families
Jobs
Self respect
Sobriety
Church privileges/membership
The list is endless...
But what does it really mean to 'lose' something?
lose
[looz] verb, lost, los·ing.
verb (used with object)
1.
to come to be without (something in one's possession or care), through accident, theft, etc., so that there is little or no prospect of recovery: I'm sure I've merely misplaced my hat, not
lost it.
2.
to fail inadvertently to retain (something) in such a way that it cannot be immediately recovered: I just lost a dime under this sofa.
3.
to suffer the deprivation of: to lose one's job; to lose one's life.
4.
to be bereaved of by death: to lose a sister.
5.
to fail to keep, preserve, or maintain: to lose one's balance; to lose one's figure.
Do you see how precious accountability seeps from us when we use the words 'lose' or 'lost?'
The word 'lose' disperses a good portion of said accountability to circumstance, chance, bad luck, accident, or the actions of another person.
But that is not what happens in addiction.
In addiction we choose our fix over the things we "lose." It is our choice. It doesn't happen because of happenstance or accident or because someone else made us or because of karma.
No, it happens because we make a very deliberate choice - whether at the trigger moment or days before - to love our addiction more than anything else.
...Instead of
"I have lost so much because of my addiction."
... Let us say
"I chose my addiction over all that I held dear."
And in that honesty we will find hope, strength and accelerated healing.
I love this post. thanks Sidreis!
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