Journal: Depression

I am depressed.

I was hit with it a couple of weeks ago when I finished up my fall semester classes and it has been a steady decline ever since.

I have very little desire to do anything.  I just want to lay in bed...

I am fighting to even acknowledge how I am feeling because I have generally been depression free for a good three years now.

But, although I feel the majority of my past depression has been due to my addiction, I do need to recognize that I also suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder), which causes depression in the winter months.

Basically, I need sunlight, which I've had very little of because it has been hovering at 0-10 degrees for the last 3 weeks or so.

Even now, as I write this, I am thinking "if I could only get a nap - I would feel better."

... typical addict denial.

Anyway - I am not sure where I am going with this; not sure what to do.  But one thing I do know for sure is I do not want to isolate in it - so I am putting it here.  Now the whole world knows....


  1. I totally know how you feel! ug, especially with all the inversion too. So depressing. I'm a summer kinda guy. Maybe you can get out and go snow shoeing or something. If you can't change winter maybe you can embrace it or even grow to love it!

    1. I actually do love winter. Normally I don't get sick of it until mid January, though. I usually love it through the holidays. Having a white Christmas is one of my favorite things. But ya - I'm sure the inversion isn't helping either.

  2. As someone who battles depression in her daily life, I feel your pain. Glad you're being open about it.

    I don't have much to say, but I'll give you an online hug. *hug*

  3. Isn't a nap a type of self care? The end of a semester is big...I'm not understanding how that is addict denial? Congrats on your semester! I wrestle with depression as well. Vitamin D is a big boost for me in the winter.

  4. The first thing I want to tell you is that stop thinking that you are in depression. Depression is nothing it is a collection of negative thoughts which comes in our mind. Depression not only makes you mental unfit also physical health is affected by it. I recommend you some easy treatments which helps to reduce your depression. Start reading books which you love most and meditate daily for a few minutes.
    Here some easy home remedies for you in the above link. It will help you to treat your depression. Hope you like it. Thanks

    1. I appreciate the resources, but I don't agree that depression is just a collection of negative thoughts. I feel some depression is definitely circumstantial, but not all. Depression is a clinical disease that is caused by chemical imbalances. My winter depression is caused by such an imbalance that occurs from lack of sunlight.


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