Fortifying My "Control Line"
I recently met with my Bishop and we went over some more aspects of my last slip. He asked me again:
What did you learn from this?
I have learned that I cannot get close to the line. I must take great care to stay clear of the threshold in which my mind gets hijacked and I lose the ability to choose.
His question and my explanation got me thinking about a fire, and how firefighters will carve out a 'control line' (or firebreak) to prevent the fire from jumping to more areas and spreading it's hot destruction.
A 'control line' is defined as:
All built or natural fire barriers and treated fire edge used to control a fire.
I liken fire to my addiction. My addiction can manifest as a small flare-up, a trigger... but like fire it can also become a completely uncontrolled rolling red hot disaster in just a short period of time if I don't take certain precautions.
I feel that I need to take extra precautions to keep my addiction controlled, or manageable. I need to create a control line around myself. I need to use natural barriers as well as build barriers and treat the edges of that barrier by dousing them with the Spirit and lining them with armies of Angels.
I also acknowledge that it takes major work and major change to create and maintain a burn line. I have to eliminate triggers from my life and make changes. I also have to drop the walls of pride to facilitate these changes.
In order to facilitate these changes it is imperative that I call on my support system to help me bolster my control line. I need to admit that I need help and then actually call on that help. I have such a wonderful support system and many loved ones who are ready and willing to help me if I only ask.
I also need to remember that once my control line is built that the fire won't just go out. Like poof! But instead, I have to be patient, and trust that my intently and meticulously fortified line will control the burn and manage it. That the precautions I've taken aren't to douse the fire and put it out, but to hold it so it doesn't spread. I simply need to stand on the other side of the control line, barricaded by my life changes, my Angels, my support system and the Spirit, all of which are gifts given to me by my Father in Heaven to help me stay safe.
If I do everything in my power to fortify my control line, the Lord will not allow the fire to threaten me. He is bound by His own promise and He cannot break it:
I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.