Step Twelve'ing, In a Huge Way

A couple of weeks ago I was presented with the opportunity of a lifetime.  I was invited to participate in filming a commercial promoting sexual addiction recovery, not only for those struggling with addiction, but more-so for their loved ones.

The folks at Addo Recovery have one purpose in mind; to help people heal.

I am grateful for the opportunity I have had to participate in their free classes as well as work with them on this film project. I'd like to share a bit of my experience with each...

The free six week educational course currently offered by Addo Recovery currently focuses on betrayal trauma education for wives, or significant others, of men who struggle with sexual addiction.  I have personally learned so much from this class.  I learned that my feelings are mine, and they are OK.  I learned that even though I sometimes feel that I cannot go on, that I actually do, and that makes me resilient.  I am resilient.  I also learned how to trust my gut, and how to give myself permission to act on that instinct.  Overall, I learned amazing self care and in turn, I learned to trust and love myself even more.

The class is offered both in person, as well as on line.  (Please contact Addo directly for availability at

Although Addo currently focuses primarily on healing the spouse, they are striving to branch out into offering resources for men, women and even teens who struggle with sexual addiction.  They are also working to branch out into offering education for children and parents.  Their ultimate goal is to help facilitate recovery for everyone affected by the devastating affects of sexual addiction.

Bravo Addo, Bravo!

Now, for super fun stuff... the commercial!

I about fell out of my chair when I received the invitation to participate.  Me?  Little ole' me?  Small town girl from Montana?  I just sat their grinning, and expressing gratitude to the Lord for helping spread awareness and hope, and especially for making it fun at the same time!

The filming was scheduled to take place over two days:

Day 1

I was to arrive at 12:45, 45 minutes prior to my shoot, for 'hair and make-up.'  My make-up artist, Emily, was amazing.  She was fun and talkative and made me feel so beautiful.

She even gave me fake eyelashes!  It was the first time I'd ever worn them in my life.  Aren't they beautiful?  I'm not sure I'll ever wear them again though.  There is no way I could put them on myself.  Hah!  (You can also check out more of Emily's stuff here.) 

While I was in the midst of getting my hair and make-up done, the producers/directors showed up at the door and introduced themselves.  Although I could hear them, I couldn't see them.  Not only did I not have my glasses on, but I was also looking in the mirror trying to stay super still for Emily.  

Realizing my predicament, one of the directors finally positioned himself in my line of site and shook my hand.  He was very friendly and inviting and I felt most welcome in his presence.  After meeting him I felt the need to then give heed to courtesy and curiosity and I turned to acknowledge the other guy. 

I glanced, and did a total double take... "I know you!"

Turns out I knew them both!  Or not really knew, but knew of them both.  The guy I recognized is Daryn Tufts, from the movie Singles Ward, and the other guy is Dave Nibley from The Best Two Years.  WOW!  I of course turned into a complete gooey groupie, asking for photographs and whatnot.  They kindly and patiently obliged.

Dave Nibley & I                                      Daryn Tufts & I

The studio itself was amazing.  I mean.  It was an actual studio.  Hah!  It still seems surreal.  I mean, me, in a studio.  With producers, directors, videographers, the sound tech and the make-up artist mulling all around me.  They even had a smorgasbord of food for us.  Complete royal treatment. So fun!

The time eventually came when Dave walked in and it was time to start the interview process.  Dave would be asking the questions, while Eric (Managing Director at Addo Recovery) and Daryn were to observe and offer feedback.

I was a bit nervous at first.  Because Addo is currently primarily targeting wives of those who struggle, I thought they were expecting me to only speak about my experience and feelings surrounding my husband's addiction and recovery.  But I was pleasantly surprised to find that they really wanted me to share my experience with recovery in general.  I wasn't limited or bound by expectation.  They truly did just let me be me.

The best part was when Dave asked me what the number one thing I owed my recovery to was.
I paused
...and said:
"I don't think I can talk about that."
Dave gave me a questioning look, to which I responded:
"I don't think I'm allowed to talk about God."
You see, Addo Recovery incorporates spirituality in their program, but they aren't faith based, nor do they represent any specific religion.
So I turned to Eric and asked:
"Am I allowed to talk about God?"
He responded:
"Yes, you can talk about God."

I then broke into tears as I expressed my gratitude for God's healing hand in my life.  That I owe my entire recovery to Him and would not be where I am without Him.  And that I love Him, so so very much.  I am so grateful that I was allowed that moment, even if the footage isn't published.  I do owe it all to God, and it would be wrong of me to not acknowledge His hand, ever, let alone on such a powerful platform.

Another bonus was the videographers.  These guys were funny!  I'm terrible in that I didn't get either of their names but they were hilarious! They all made me smile so much.  One of them took the below shot of me as Emily was working on my hair and posted it on their Facebook page, along with a kind note.

The entire day was exhausting but probably one of the funnest days I have had in a very long time.  I am finding more and more that the unknown is actually exciting and not scary.  The more I rely on God and let Him direct my path, the more I know, that whatever direction He sends me is the best for me, and for those around me.  I am truly grateful for his care and guidance.

I ended the day in my parking garage, left hand full of bags and right hand taking a head-shot of myself as I leaned up against the wood fence.  Who knew an iPhone+Instagram could capture such beauty?  The further into recovery I immerse myself, the more I come to know how beautiful I am.  I see such joy and peace in myself.

Day 2

Day two was to be filmed at Dave Nibley's house.  I have an actual picture of the house, but I don't feel it's appropriate to post it here... let's just say it's huge, and beautiful, and welcoming, and comfortable and clean.  I had plenty of opportunity to practice gratitude for what I have and work on not feeding my envy wolf.

The second day was a lot more chill than the first. I still had to arrive 45 minutes early for hair and make-up, but things moved much more quickly compared to the day before.  The biggest difference was there was no sound.  They were filming "B Roll" footage which is just footage that will run underneath my voice that was recorded the day before.  As you can see, Dave had me sit on his couch, typing on Eric's computer.... I was to look contemplative, but not too contemplative.  He wanted me to smile too... while not looking too contemplative.  Honestly, it was awkward haha.  But, eventually we got it done.

Dave Nibley, funny videographer & I

Let's not forget Daryn.  He was there as well.  At one point he sat down on the couch next to me.  As soon as he did I motioned for Emily to get a pic of us--all incognito style.  It didn't work, he totally noticed.  I know I know.  My groupie was totally showing again. ::: sigh :::  I'm gagging at myself a bit, but I seriously couldn't contain myself, or wouldn't.  Poor guy.

Daryn Tufts & I

The day flew by and soon came to a close.  Before I left for home I found myself on Dave's back porch overlooking the beautiful landscape.  I reflected on Mother Earth and how beautiful she is.  I felt such exquisite gratitude for all that I have been given; for all that the Lord has given me.  I am so very blessed.

And the final shot was my last iPhone+Instagram head-shot taken in the bathroom at my job.  I'm telling you, when my book gets published I'm toying with taking my own head-shots.  Unless the publishing company pays for professional ones, then I might just have to cave.

I am a beautiful daughter of God in recovery from a sexual addiction  
I am valuable
I am worthy
I am loved
I am His

Thank you Eric, Dave (Flynn Rider), Daryn, Emily and Creative Media Group for creating a space for me to shine my testimony and give voice to freedom.  

Cheers to whatever comes next!


  1. How AWESOME! It sounds like an incredible experience :)

  2. Love love love!
    Love that you are such a strong voice for recovery of all kinds - I love it. I love that you got to share more of you, I know this is so helpful for so many people. It's amazing. I love your pics, they ARE beautiful. You are such an example to me in so many ways. I am learning to love myself too and it is a beautiful thing. :)

  3. you ARE beautiful! What a fun experience!

  4. This is beautiful! Thanks Sid! I miss you! Much love

  5. What a great experience! It's truly a blessing to see you have been able to use this addiction to bring hope to others. You are a huge inspiration to all of us!

  6. Yay! I am so happy you blogged about this and just a little bit of the background of how things like this work. I especially loved the part where they were having you look contemplative, but not TOO contemplative. like, really? How do you do that? lol.

    Way cool Sidreis, I am excited for you!

  7. That is a wonderful experience! Thanks for sharing (and I am gutted they are not single.) hee hee.

  8. whoo Hooo! So fun and you ARE gorgeous and valuable, worthy and loved!

  9. Thanks guys! I appreciate all the comments! It really was FUN!:-)

  10. What a difference you are making! I am grateful you shared this fun, amazing, over the top opportunity on your blog. Joy is real and I love hearing about miracles filled with tender mercy moments. Thank you.

  11. Dang you are super famous!! I'm honored to know you. (sort of). I am so amazed at your openness and honesty. I don't think I'd EVER want to be behind a camera....


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