Friday, October 18, 2013

This Thing Called 'Scanning'

My husband told me once that men often struggle with this thing called 'scanning.'  Scanning is when we use our addictive radar to hunt for that which will give us our next fix, whether big or small.

I used to think it was a guy thing.

I was wrong.

I am a total scanner.

I first recognized it a few days ago.  We recently switched from Direct TV to Dish Network.  Shane, the installer, was very kind and patient as he walked us through the workings of all our new equipment.

At one point, he began skimming the channels.
And then he began skimming through the premium channels.

Before I could tell him we wouldn't be utilizing those channels, even through the free trial, my eyes began to scan the screen.  I went into some sort of robot mode; eyes locked-seeking titles to satiate the instant craving that erupted out of no where.

My eyes grew wide and I finally looked away as realization washed over me...

I'm a total scanner!

Since then, I've noticed other instances where I scan.  I scan in my thoughts when I look for just the right fantasy that will meet the needs of my craving in that moment.  If I'm feeling insecure, I'll scan for people in crowds who might be looking at me; paying attention to me as I internally pine for their attention.

I am pretty excited about this discovery.  Now I can work on it.  Each scan is a Skittle of my addiction and if I'm to get better, I need to work on getting rid of it.  If I am aware of my scanning tactics, I can work to change those habits.  I can recondition myself.

I am grateful that the Lord is mindful to let me bite of pieces of awareness a bit at a time.  He is constantly helping me grow and get better.


3 comments:

  1. Good insights. I've never called it anything, but I'm definitely a scanner as well. I became more aware of it in that same way too. I was at my parents house before my dad got home a few weeks ago, so I turned on the TV to see what was on while I waited. I scanned and scanned and... longed for some of the old shows or stations that I would watch, that are no good. I do that same thing on fb/instagram, etc too. I have to really watch myself and close apps altogether sometimes because, as you said, the craving can come out of nowhere. Although I knew I did this, and was aware, I wasn't aware that I was aware... does that make sense? lol. I didn't consciously think about it. So, I'm glad you wrote this!

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  2. Me too! Of course, mine is reading, so I have to analyze why I'm reading something and make sure I'm not reading it for a fix. Or looking for trigger words so I can read it. Thanks for this!

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  3. After reading this, I've caught myself in the act several times. **awareness**

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Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"