I had a lot of fear when I first went public with my story here on my blog. But I continually found comfort in knowing that I was doing what God wanted me to do. He called me into the spotlight so that my light would shine forth to the world. Although I did so willingly, I still found myself wondering how the heck it would reach people.
I remember asking Him; "Who is going to read it?"
His answer was simple; "Let Me worry about that, you just write."
And so I did.
Almost four years later, God has granted me many opportunities to shed light into the darkness of other women struggling. They reach out to me, and I write back, paying forward the goodness, hope and light that He has so graciously given to me. Although I would love to hear of the progress each of them have made, I often don't hear back from them, and I'm left just hoping that they are OK. But I recently received the following email from someone who first reached out to me a couple of years ago:
“Hello, I contacted you a little over two years ago now. You were the first person other than my boyfriend that I went to for help. I doubt you remember me, but my Mom had made me feel for years that I shouldn't go to the bishop for help and that if I did I would be shaming my family. She didn't realize at the time that she was making me feel so awful, but she did. So I turned to other things to fill the hole so to speak. I became suicidal at times and I was also bulimic. My boyfriend was so concerned that he urged me to go to the bishop. I didn't go, though, until you replied to my email. You were so caring and I felt that you knew what I was going through. I was amazed that you were so confident that you would put yourself out there so that I could find help too. I found so much comfort in reading your blog. Anyways, the reason I'm writing to you today is to let you know that you were the beginning and the means to a success story. I have now been on a successful full time mission to New York City, and I have been free for almost a year, and I am getting married to my best friend before the end of the year. I have found my Jesus, and I want to thank you for sharing the things you've been through with the world because the world needs light. Thank you for sharing your light. It saved my life.” (Shared by Permission)
I cried as I sat and read her email. I cried for her struggle, her success and her light. But I also cried tears of gratitude for God allowing me see the growth of the planted seed.
Let us never underestimate the illuminating power of light in darkness.
And let us trust God enough to be those lights.