Friday, March 15, 2013

Dear Bishop: I Need You So That I Can Be Worthy

Dear Bishop,

I wish I didn't need to write this to you but I have to be honest about the way you reacted to me reaching out to you.  I’m frustrated with you, Bishop.  I wish I wasn't but I need you to know.  I came to you to talk about my addiction.  I wanted you to understand what I have been through, what I am going through, and how I am feeling because this addiction is hard.  Its everywhere and I face it daily whether I want to or not.

I wanted to help you to understand a little about women caught in sexual addiction but  mostly I wanted to know that I had a place of protection, a safe haven, that I could go to and feel my Heavenly Father’s love for me.  To me, you are the symbol of Heavenly Father’s love for me and yet you blew me off like you didn't want to deal with me.  That hurt.  I am grateful, after years of hard work,  that I currently have a good understanding of how God feels about me because if I hadn't I would have felt like Heavenly Father Himself was brushing me off.

I know you are new but you left me feeling like I was the only person in the ward to have this kind of problem.  Maybe our ward is extremely lucky and I am the only one dealing with this type of thing but I have a strong feeling that’s not the case.  I want you to be able to help those who come to you in their time of need.  I want you to be able to help me.  Honestly, Bishop, I was extremely scared to talk to you about this issue.  Its not something I talk about easily with most people and that’s after years of sobriety and recovery under my belt.

You are most likely the first person an addict will talk to about their problem and you can’t just push them to a group then wash your hands of it.  If that had been my first experience with a bishop, I don’t think I would have ever returned to you.  I don’t think I would have the recovery I currently have.  You are vital not only to my recovery but anyone else who seeks you out.  Please understand that your role as my bishop is so important to me.  Please understand that this addiction can and will keep me out of the temple.  This addiction can and will keep me out of the Celestial Kingdom.  Please, Bishop, I need you so that I can be worthy.  Please just listen to my pleading.  You are a good man, Bishop.  Please use that goodness to help everyone you can.

Sincerely,

A Beautiful Daughter of God

A contributed post in response to A Call For Input: Dear Bishop Letters.

3 comments:

  1. A very good letter. I'm glad she had the guts to say it!

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    1. Me too. We have to remember that Bishops are human too... I'm glad she was honest because sometimes Bishops just don't know how to handle things. And we are too scared to ask. So it's good to let them know:-)

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  2. Thank you for this letter. As a Bishop, it is vital that I understand the impact I have on others as they work through the process of repentance. Although I don't have any women presently working with me on overcoming sex addiction, I have many men that are. I am sure that I have women that are still wondering if they can come to me and trust me with this burden.
    I have worked with three women who are working through the 12 step program with their husbands who are sex addicts. I feel I have their trust and work hard to keep it.

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Thank you for sharing a moment with me:-)

Ezekiel 34:11-12,16

"For thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day. I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick"